we went out to unos for lunch today... and as i ate my pizza, i heard the song, "i can only imagine" by mercy me playing in the background. it's a song that i've listened to and sung a countless number of times in the confines of my own car or room or perhaps even at church during praise time, but it was such a pleasant surprise to hear it in such a public place, in the midst of ordinary people during a busy lunch hour. though i don't think it played very loudly for everyone to recognize all of the words, the words sang loud and clear in my heart. on one side, i felt like God was blessing me and reminding me of His presence in the ordinary tasks in our lives, and on the other side, i felt like the rest of the world was praising God along with me.

there was a time when i went to borders bookstore and heard the song "prayer" by i dunno who. it's definitely a beautiful song, and i recognized it from hearing it on the christian radio station a few times.

and i go to a christian, korean dentist who always fixes the radio on 95.1 WRBS christian station.

the doctor i see for my accident injuries has christian books on the table in the waiting room for his patients to read.

i just think it's wonderful that God's people continuously make an effort with their lives to spread the gospel and glorify the Lord. sometimes i wonder how i can glorify God by being an accountant/auditor. the answer is pretty clear cut for, say, a doctor or even a lawyer, but not so easy for an accountant. can i really glorify God by confirming a company's cash account? or testing their accounts payable?

however, i am reminded that God's people are needed in every profession... needed to place Christ in pictures of the world where He is not present. in hearts of those who do not yet know Him. fortunately and unfortunately, in this aspect, i can most definitely see a place for me in the corporate world.

when people ask me what i study and i tell them accounting, many say, "you love money, don't you." i smile and say nothing, but little do they know how much i despise it. if there was a way to live life without money, i would. in my short life, i have seen one too many living testimonies of the love of money ruining lives of innocent people. the world truly will be a much better place without money. but sadly enough, we all know that there will never be such a world, besides Heaven. if it's not money, there will be something else to somehow divide the world's resources and give ownership to individuals.

we've heard that the root of of all sin is money. it's not too hard to imagine that in large business settings where millions and millions of dollars move around as if they were dollar bills are where the level of sin is at its peak. consider the outbreak of corporate fraud in the past couple years. once big and reputable companies such as enron, andersen, rite aid, xerox, and more have now become an embarrassment and disgrace to the profession and an object of gossip to the general public. all because of greed. we all know that money and power are two things that you want more of, the more you have it. and when people are faced with the temptation to become filthy rich with one "little" violation of integrity, there are not many who can resist. without Christ, that is. i believe that we are called to strive to conquer money (greed) in order that we are not conquered by it.

clearly, the corporate world is in desperate need of Jesus. praise be to God that He is able to use someone as small as me to be a part of the carrying out of His will.

topic of the momahnt: SCARED

so it was around 11 o'clock two nights ago (sunday night) when my sister experienced a true "sixth sense" moment.

i had come back from rita's ice at around 7ish and had fallen asleep on my mom's bed (her bed is always more comfortable than mine). i hadn't washed up or anything, so when i happened to be awoken at around 11ish, i got up to change and wash up before i went back to bed. i saw that my mom was sleeping on the couch, mimi was sleeping in her cage, and my sister was in our room spread out on the floor talking to somebody on the phone.

early the next morning when i got up, i saw that my mom and my sister were both sleeping on the living room floor. i remember being kind of puzzled at this when i left for work but didn't think much of it. later when my sister came home from class and told me what happened, i seriously thought she had gone mad.

my sister, after getting home from shopping that night and finding on the piano chair eric's 10-pg calvinism class hw that he gave me, started to read the paper. tired as she was, she got comfortable on the floor, but because she needed the light to read, left the room light on. finding the paper very interesting and wanting to ask some questions, she called eric.

they had held a long phone conversation as they debated and questioned each other over the issues he presented in his paper when she lifted her head. her face and body froze as she was faced with a person covered entirely by blood directly in front of her. unable to scream for help not only in utter shock and terror but in fear that the ghost will reach out for her, she managed to turn her head slightly to look in the long mirror that hung between our bathroom and closet door. in the reflection, she saw another bloody person. this time, it was hanging by the neck on a rope. suddenly feeling surrounded by bloody ghosts, she turned to look at another mirror that hung by my bed. there, she saw another bloody one, staring straight into her eyes.

i'm not sure if the ghosts suddenly disappeared after that or what, but i think my sister then ran out in tears to my mom. i refused to believe her at first and said to her, "why didn't you scream for us?!?!?!" but i guess when you're faced with a certain degree of horror, your voice just gets overtense and shuts down temperarily.

so the next night when time came for me to go to bed, which was like an hour after i was told what had happened, i knew that i couldn't sleep alone. especially in my room. so my sister and i both slept on my mom's queen-size bed together. we argued over who got to sleep on the inside, but i kindly let my sister have it. after we turned off the lights, i closed my eyes and said my prayers for God to take away my fear, but i kept peeking to make sure that a ghost wasn't in the room. letting my sister sleep on the inside was definitely a decision that i regretted for the next three hours when i couldn't fall asleep. and all of the next morning at work when i couldn't keep my eyes open.

nobody believes me when i tell this story. when i told it to my co-workers, one guy first asked, "how old is your sister?" when i said 23, he then immediately asked, "who's her distributor?" haha...

whatever the case, i'm SCARED.

i am thoroughly enjoying myself here... my excitement for the hibachi dinner was not followed by disappointment! the chef was so much fun... besides, i caught a shrimp with my mouth! hehehe...

gettin real sleepy.... time to pull out my nice bedsheets from home to lay out on the bed (don't ever rely on hotel sheets... they're "dirty").

by the way, this room doesn't have conditioner. conditioner is a MUST HAVE for women, don't they understand that?

yay, i can add delaware on my list of states i've driven to on my own. i'll be staying here overnight and leaving tomorrow night.

right now, i'm just working.... but i'm excited for our dinner tonight at hibachi. :-)

they have nice, pretty stone houses here in wilmington.

i think i got caught on a traffic camera on my way to work just now. y'know the first traffic light off of 83 that intersects with fayette st.? well, i was on the far right lane and about to go through the green light, when it suddenly turned yellow (or orange as some might say). despite the near perfect possibility of making it through before the light turns red, i opted to stop. and when i looked down on the road, i was past the white line!

(sigh)

so i put on my away message just now that said: "getting ready for bed... leave one!"

and these are the responses i got:

"1"
"consider one left"
"goodnight!"
"leave one what?..."

i need new friends... :-/

read this story... it's pretty crazy.

can you believe i got about 12 hours of sleep last night?? i went straight to bed after i got home from work yesterday and didn't wake up this morning until i had to come to work. it's even more unbelievable that i didn't start feeling the hunger until like 10:30am. usually i eat dinner, eat another meal around midnight, and still feel hungry the next morning. this is good... i need to eat less and exercise more in order to lose the 10 lbs. i gained from eating so much at random times at the conference.

note to self: i need to smile more. a smile can do wonders.

:)

it's almost midnight. time sure flies by.

anyway, i just saw the last hour of the final "for love or money." i've never seen the show before today, but when you have co-workers who get together for "girls' night" every monday for reality shows, it's not too hard to figure out what it's all about (one of the girls even applied for a chance to be on the show. apparently, she got pretty far, but not far enough). well, this particular show is about fifteen girls and one man. these girls had been selected to live in a house together for a chance to be chosen as the love of rob's life. rob would go on dates with these ladies and eliminate one by one until he was finally down to the last two. the twist is that these girls were initially told that they would win a million dollars if chosen by rob. two days before the final pick, the two remaining girls were told that they'd have to make a choice between the money and rob (love) in the event they are chosen.

i must say it was pretty sad to watch these girls struggle with whether they should choose rob or the million dollars. as many of you can imagine, the "lucky" girl chose the money. i wonder if that was even a struggle at all. if it was, i'd bet only because of the fear of being broadcasted on national tv as a gold digger. it was sad because it seemed to represent what has become standard and ordinary in today's world. although i strive more each day to know and enjoy God's love myself, i couln't see a greater misconception of love than what i saw on that show.

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today was a long long day. i had to get up not too long after the sun came up to go to a client's site in bethesda. i had been dreading the thought of being stuck in traffic on my way to and fro bethesda every day of this week, but praise God, my senior decided that we can do the same work in the baltimore office starting tomorrow. phew. the drive today wasn't too bad though i did feel my eyes closing on me several times in the morning. chris tomlin kept me company in my car, so i actually enjoyed the long drive. ;-)

********
y'know, i should shop at target more often. they had a really cute bag that i got for 7 dollars. i wasn't too happy when i saw the sunblock lotion that i got at rite aid for two more dollars than target was selling them for.

alright, my bed is calling me. thank God for a rest that comes so sweetly after a long day of work.

hi, my friends!! i am back from JAMA (Jesus Awakening Movement of America - i think) and feeling very refreshed spiritually though a little worn out physically. let's just say, georgia tech has a nice and BIG campus. special thanks to pastor iggi and pastor mike for not only driving the van but putting up with 3 college girls with annoyingly small bladders and 4 youth group boys that couldn't stop asking whether we were there yet or not.

as far as the conference goes, it was an unforgettable experience. God used the speakers to reveal to me simple truths to which i had been blind. i was also able to witness over 3,000 fellow believers from different parts of the world raise their hands together in praise to God. to be quite frank, i didn't have too high of expectations about this conference when i left baltimore. i even had an inkling of desire to stay and enjoy the fourth of july celebration at the inner harbor with my co-workers. what an underestimation of God's power that was. little did i know that i would gain so much.

i almost didn't want to leave when the time came for us to return home. perhaps i did not want to face the awaiting realities in my daily life which test of the level of understanding that i claim to have achieved from the conference. however, i refuse to be constrained by the fear of failure of this test because i have been saved by grace which frees me from the bounce back and forth from pride and despair that result from my own judgment of myself. God frees me to "rest inside the cradle of His grace" even though i am sinful and weak. i can, therefore, only delight in God and let my joy overflow from the interior to the exterior.

we had the privilege to hear the preaching of some of the most excellent speakers. they include john piper, loren cunningham, louie giglio, ken davis, and cornelius plantinga. i even got john piper's autograph! worship was led by david crowder band and chris tomlin, both of whom were awesome. and of course, i got their autographs too. hehe... i'll be sure to post pictures later.

oh and i can't forget k.l. and n.k! we really had many fun, bonding moments together. n, you better make that confused face for me sooner or later! ;-)

alright, now that it's 2am and i'm wide awake, maybe it wasn't such a great idea to sleep the entire ride back home. :-/

happy Lord's day.